Diabolik Lovers Episode 3 - Deadbeat Brother

So this episode was dedicated to showing the audience that the Space Cadet is just as much as an asshole as everyone else!

Such a loving little brother he has

The episode starts off during dinner time. Surprisingly, the heroine is not said dinner. Suddenly after the routine molestation from the Fedora, the Space Cadet gets up and leaves, muttering "such a pain" (because dinner is apparently a chore). Then the Glasses begins the trash talking. He says that the Space Cadet is no good because he grew up spoiled rotten. Then (after the Emo Shota starts repeatedly jamming his fork into his plate while laughing like a crazy motherf****r) Glasses goes on to say that he (Space Cadet) won't even make the effort to attend their monthly dinner party (the nerve of some people).

You'd be third in line for that, buddy

As everyone leaves the table, Heroine attempts to go ahead and leave as well. Glasses stops her and tells her that her table manners are "deplorable," and that one day he will take her aside and discipline her...thoroughly. Which basically means he's gonna use that as an excuse to do whatever horrible things to the heroine. Nice!
Heroine catches wind of this, gives him the look and reluctantly says "Yes, sir."
Submissive as always, I'm afraid.

He's not asking, he's demanding

Heroine is sitting in her room, when suddenly, a wild Ayato appears. He demands to suck her blood, but she says she was on her way to the bath. Ayato does not care, he grabs her anyway. She tells him that she's been feeling faint lately, he tells her to shut up. He gives her hickeys on her chest (as "stamp marks"), while enjoying her sounds of pain (creepy as hell). He stops, and tells her that he'll do the rest after her bath, because he doesn't want t have to deal with her fainting again (that would be a problem).

He'll throw you in the pool again, missy

He tells her not to take long, because if she makes him wait, "you know what will happen."

I do not know what will happen, but I assume it's a illegal.

Heroine goes to the bathroom, and examines the marks on her chest with a grim expression.

Suddenly, she notices the Space Cadet is in the filled bathtub (with his clothes on).

He's funny, this one

Heroine asks him what he's doing there. He says he's just having a bath. Heroine questions why he still has his clothes on. He says to undress him (he gets right to the point doesn't he?). Heroine is stunned by his remark, and he tells her that he assumed she went in the bathroom to see him naked (because he's just that sexy). Heroine blushes and denies his assumptions, and says she only wanted a bath. He asks her if she wants to join him, she asks him why she would want to do that. He notes that she is blushing. After a brief awkward silence and the Space Cadet complaining how tired he is, Heroine asks him why he and his brothers are so different, despite being related. The Space Cadet reveals that they have different mothers. He and Glasses have the same mother, Fedora, Ayato, and Emo Shota are triplets with another mom, and Mr.Wonderful also has a different mom.

Isn't he a cutie-pie?

Suddenly, he sinks into the water. Heroine grabs his hand and pulls him out (?). A flashback is triggered.
In said flash back, there's a random guy, a house is burning down, and the Space Cadet is standing with a blank expression on his face. He mutters "Edgar..." (which I assume is the name of the random guy) while enduring this flashback. Suddenly, Heroine's voice can be heard calling the Space Cadet. He wakes up, and Heroine says that he's hurting her (via squeezing her hand a bit too much).
Then, suddenly, he pulls her into the tub (do these guys have a thing for throwing women in water?).

Well, so did I. Turns out, he's just another rapey asshole

He tells her to let him suck her blood. She is stunned by this statement, and Space Cadet is surprised she's frightened. He grabs the back of her head, pulls her forward, and examines her skin. He notices the hickeys from Ayato. He remarks that he's a possessive freak (and you're a bipolar one, haha!). Heroine sulks, saying she thought the he was different, he tells her that he's a vampire (naw, really?!?) and that he shall show her a whole new world (and suddenly the song from Aladdin began to play in my mind).

(Now for the more erotic lines)

He notes that her blood is getting so hot, it could burn him. He says she's getting excited (or more suitably, aroused), and he calls her (I am not kidding) a dirty girl (oooooooOOOh).

He concludes that she's in the house due to her fine quality blood. He then tells her to stay away from him.

She returns to her room, where Ayato is waiting. He demands blood, ignores Heroine's refusal, and then notices the fang marks on her neck. He concludes they belong to the Space Cadet, and he goes to confront him.

You bite Heroine, you bite Ayato. That's the way it works.

He asks the Space Cadet if he's trying to pick a fight with him. Ayato is ignored, gets pissed, and yells at the Space Cadet. He tells Ayato to keep it down. Ayato then (like a real man) challenges the Space Cadet to a rousing game of darts. Space Cadet shoots down the challenge. Suddenly, a wild Fedora appears, and declares Heroine as the prize. Then Glasses comes about, asking what's with all the commotion. Space Cadet states that he couldn't care less about the chick, and to just let him sleep. 

Glasses then gets sassy and says that if one were to look up the word "spineless" in the dictionary, you'd find the Space Cadet's photo next to it (OH SNAP!). He says the Space Cadet can't do anything himself, and calls him a deadbeat.

(Then some epic/dramatic music starts playing)

Space Cadet leans up, and accepts the challenge (remember, kids, if you ever want someone to do something for you, mock them).
Space Cadet easily wins the game.

In other words, Heroine = food

He wins a bitch-chan.

Episode rating 5/10 I was disappointed in the Space Cadet. I had faith that he wouldn't be an asshole, but I guess that was just a dream... Still, the episode was entertaining because of all the stupid that happened.